UNDERSTANDING AND DEALING WITH DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES *
comprised by Pam Headridge
Working with cheerleaders some years are more difficult than others. Coaches asked themselves questions like “Why is this year so hard? I have a talented group of cheerleaders but they just don’t want to work together” or“Why am I having so many complaints from parents this year?”
Squads are comprised of different personalities and coaches need to to learn to work with these personalities. Each type needs to be handled in very different ways. What works with one may not work with the other. Therefore when dealing with both cheerleaders and parents, you need to take into account their temperaments.
AGGRESSIVE*: People who bully or attack. They come out swinging verbally. They want to take control.
UNDERSTANDING: They need to prove themselves. Most things are black and white to them and they become easily upset when things are not seen their way. They usually achieve short term objectives quickly. They have the inability to accept feedback.
COPING: Give them time to “run down”. Look directly at the person and stand your ground. When they take a breath interrupt them and get to the point with a polite smile on your face. Get their attention by either calling their name or having them sit down. Maintain eye contact. Do not attack back but express your opinion in “ I disagree with you because.....” Do not fight with them because often aggressive people have to win.
COMPLAINER*: The person that has sentences connected with “buts”. Often their voice is whiny. They always find fault with everything and have excuses for everything.
UNDERSTANDING: They believe they are powerless. Often they crave attention and this is their method to receive it. Complaints give them excuses for not being accountable for their actions or responsibilities.
COPING: Listen attentively to complainer. Acknowledge what they are saying by paraphrasing it back to them. Try to move to problem solving by asking specific questions. If all else fails ask the complainer “How do you want this conversation to end?”
UNRESPONSIVE*: You get one word responses like “yup”, or a shrug of the shoulders or no response.
UNDERSTANDING: They learned early that a “no response” is a noncommittal way to handle situations.
COPING: Ask open-ended questions. Wait calmly for a response. Do not fill in the silence. If you get no response, comment on what is happening. If the person answers, be attentive. Be careful not to put down their opinion.
SUPER AGREEABLE*: They always tell you what you want to hear.
UNDERSTANDING: They have strong desire to be liked or acceptable by others.
COPING: Let them know that you value them as people. Give them positive strokes.
NEGATIVIST*: People who are personally capable,and they have a deep seated conviction that any task not their own will fail.
UNDERSTANDING: They are similar to the complainer because they feel they have little power over their own lives. They usually do not trust people. Finding fault with others makes them feel better about themselves.
COPING: Do not be drug into the negativity. Make optimistic but realistic statements about past successes. Don’t argue with the negativist. Be ready to take action on your own.
KNOW -IT-ALL*: They have all the answers.
UNDERSTANDING: They feel in control if they think they have all the answers. They often feel others’ opinions as irrelevant. They seek admiration and respect.
COPING: State correct facts but do not put down the know-It-all. Give them a way out to save face. Cope with them one-on-one.
INDECISIVE*: Can’t make up their mind. They tend to put things off.
UNDERSTANDING: They postpone decisions that might cause distress either to themselves or others.
COPING: Make it easy for the staller to tell you what the problem is. Listen to indirect words. When the problem has surfaced, help the indecisive to problem solve. Give support.
Understanding and learning how to deal with these different and sometimes difficult personalies will make you a better and more effective coach.
*from Coping with Difficult People, Robert M. Bramson, Ballantine Books, 1981.